This year I was roped into doing one of the craziest races in the bay area...Bay 2 Breakers! Now I haven't been all that into my training lately like I should be so I figured I would run this race just for fun, but I was oh so wrong. Running B2B is like going through basic training camp, there is dodging, leaping, climbing, and avoiding the oh so awkward naked guy. This race is so notorious that it is even listed as one of the 1000 things one must do before they die. So here is how it went...
Unfortunately, I'm not fast enough to get a seeded or sub seeded spot (place in the front) so a friend and I settled for Corral D status. By D I mean there is an A,B, and C that goes before this corral, hence most people are walking in this group. We decided to strategize a bit by making our way to the front of the corral and although this seemed doable we ran into a bit of an obstacle...two naked men standing on the street with prince Albert piercings. In San Francisco this doesn't seem odd, but I'm pretty sure I've never had a lesson on how to go around a naked person, especially when they are standing on the curb making their pierced "unit" at my very eye level. Needless to say I survived the nude awkwardness and made it to the front.
Just as we made it to the front they started the countdown to release our corral and I figured my only goal at this point was survive (I know it is only 7.5 miles, but that is the easy part). I was off, jumping around people and relieved I left my IPOD at home because this race was going to take all of my motor skills to make it through. I passed angry birds, Charlie Sheens, and even a few one eyed one horned flying purple people eaters. The thing that always surprises me the most is how many men are wearing dresses and tutus. It is like they wait all year for the opportunity to slide on women's clothing. Anyway, I survived mile 1 mostly by staying on the sidewalk.
The porto potty stop at mile 2 just didn't make sense, why would you have the porto potties facing the street while people are running through it? After I made way past the debauchery that was mile 2 and cheered on by the whole Smurf gang I approached "THE HILL." Now normally I don't mind hills, but this hill was long and full of slow people who don't love hills. So much so that they would stop right in front of me or run so slow in lines of 4 people that created a wall almost impossible to get around. I definitely smiled and laughed when I saw a full school of salmon making a salmon run (Swimming upstream) through the middle of the crowd. After making it over the hill I saw salvation...Golden Gate Park.
I continued to dodge care bears, 80s hair bands, and the occasional naked guy of course. I didn't see many naked women, but I still don't get how these women run without sports bras. I noticed I had run a quarter mile further than the mile markers by dodging people the whole way. Then finally, the end, the ocean! I crossed the finish line and then began the 2 mile trek up to get my medal and then the party began. I didn't do awesome, I actually hadn't even intended to race this, but I finished with an 8:02 pace and negative splits. If you ever want to try this one I recommend you practice your agility skills, you will need them, but remember clothing is optional, I just hope I don't have to pass you because I still haven't found a good way to pass a naked person.
My favorite costumes included:
Obama's birth certificate
One Eyed one horned flying purple people eaters
The Centaur
The IPODs (They were very detailed)
Unfortunately, I'm not fast enough to get a seeded or sub seeded spot (place in the front) so a friend and I settled for Corral D status. By D I mean there is an A,B, and C that goes before this corral, hence most people are walking in this group. We decided to strategize a bit by making our way to the front of the corral and although this seemed doable we ran into a bit of an obstacle...two naked men standing on the street with prince Albert piercings. In San Francisco this doesn't seem odd, but I'm pretty sure I've never had a lesson on how to go around a naked person, especially when they are standing on the curb making their pierced "unit" at my very eye level. Needless to say I survived the nude awkwardness and made it to the front.
Just as we made it to the front they started the countdown to release our corral and I figured my only goal at this point was survive (I know it is only 7.5 miles, but that is the easy part). I was off, jumping around people and relieved I left my IPOD at home because this race was going to take all of my motor skills to make it through. I passed angry birds, Charlie Sheens, and even a few one eyed one horned flying purple people eaters. The thing that always surprises me the most is how many men are wearing dresses and tutus. It is like they wait all year for the opportunity to slide on women's clothing. Anyway, I survived mile 1 mostly by staying on the sidewalk.
The porto potty stop at mile 2 just didn't make sense, why would you have the porto potties facing the street while people are running through it? After I made way past the debauchery that was mile 2 and cheered on by the whole Smurf gang I approached "THE HILL." Now normally I don't mind hills, but this hill was long and full of slow people who don't love hills. So much so that they would stop right in front of me or run so slow in lines of 4 people that created a wall almost impossible to get around. I definitely smiled and laughed when I saw a full school of salmon making a salmon run (Swimming upstream) through the middle of the crowd. After making it over the hill I saw salvation...Golden Gate Park.
I continued to dodge care bears, 80s hair bands, and the occasional naked guy of course. I didn't see many naked women, but I still don't get how these women run without sports bras. I noticed I had run a quarter mile further than the mile markers by dodging people the whole way. Then finally, the end, the ocean! I crossed the finish line and then began the 2 mile trek up to get my medal and then the party began. I didn't do awesome, I actually hadn't even intended to race this, but I finished with an 8:02 pace and negative splits. If you ever want to try this one I recommend you practice your agility skills, you will need them, but remember clothing is optional, I just hope I don't have to pass you because I still haven't found a good way to pass a naked person.
My favorite costumes included:
Obama's birth certificate
One Eyed one horned flying purple people eaters
The Centaur
The IPODs (They were very detailed)
